I sat and dined with a friend of mine
Exchanging views on the latest news.
There came a dramatic pause, to think
And sink my chin in the cup of my hand
For dramatic effect. I didn’t expect
To get a prick of a nylon tag or a piece of wire -
I thought I’d expire!
I applied myself to my prawn avocado
(with excessive bravado)
And kept the head down and tried not to frown.
While taking the white linen napkin
To refresh my lips after generous sips
Of a Sauvignon Blanc to recover my poise;
And under that guise very calmly
I probed and I pondered the fact
That ‘twas just as I feared - I was growing a beard!
Should I wax it, or pluck it, I wondered. With luck
If I did the job right it would shrink from my sight.
Conversation was stilted
It wilted and died on its feet.
My friend was upset by my lack of response
To the pearls of great wisdom that fell
From his lips. It was hell,
But I never could tell my dilemma.
Dessert came at last and he left all alone,
As I pleaded a need for ablutions.
A ghastly reflect in the neon lit glass
Showed no flaws, not a spot or a blemish.
My chin smooth as could be.
Was no comfort to me,
‘Cos I know it was there
I felt that damned hair!